Love & Relationships – Moving Beyond Traditions

Love & Relationships – Moving Beyond Traditions

Ian Mansell

We have one and only one reason for existing, as a person, as a soul, as an entity and that is: (Ta-da!) to grow spiritually. Whether we realise it or not, we are all engaged in our own spiritual growth.

Out in the universe there is only so much we can achieve, but if we are fortunate enough to get a lifetime, to get a body, to incarnate on a planet, then we have the potential to rapidly accelerate our growth.

Why? Because here we can rub up against people who are different to us. We can be challenged to change our habits or at least defend with reasons the ones we want to keep. We can be challenged with all manner of physical tasks which help us to understand and refine our ability to work with energy. We can alter our perceptions which define who we are and set limits as to what we are and are not capable of.

Prior to incarnating we consulted with the best possible guides – our self-selected angel team – to devise our agenda for what we want to change about ourself this lifetime, and to choose a birth situation that has a good potential to:

  1. a) reveal clearly to us what our (self-imposed) limitations are
  2. b) present us with alternative possibilities of how we can view ourself and our potency
  3. c) provide opportunities for us to explore and exercise those new potencies

All of which is intended to help us shed our old skin (like a snake) and grow into something bigger and better – a more refined version of ourself than we have ever lived before.

Naturally, it doesn’t always work that way, partly because most of us don’t remember what the plan was, and because we always have free will. We can always choose to stay in the familiar grooves of our old habits - and we are unwittingly supported by society’s confusion to do just that. We can choose to remain as confused as we have always been, or even to go backwards more deeply into confusion. 

But our guidance are not here to back us to do that! Their plan for us, which is why we chose them in the first place, is to lift us out of our confusion and self-loathing.

The first step of this plan is to set us up with parents who will mirror our bad habits and, at the same time stimulate us into finding an alternative, more positive model for living.

If we don’t get the message from our parents about how we need to change, we will be drawn as an adult towards a partner who will continue to push the same buttons our parent/s did.

While it seems we are escaping the parental home for freedom, usually the new partner turns out to be another version of the same old irritations. 

If we are smart, rather than running from this partnership into yet another one that will again show up the same old frustrations, we will instead reflect on the roots of the patterns of our own behaviour that are causing the friction over and over again.

Relationships are meant to be challenging and tricky to navigate! Without a challenge, our soul does not grow, and our stagnant energy will become overrun with confused souls.

The partner we are attracted to may also be someone with whom we have unfinished business from a past lifetime. Karmic debts will have to be addressed in one way or another before either of us can move forward.

With a spirit of honest humility we need to start exploring a new version of ourselves that will restore our integrity, balance out the conflicting issues and deliver us to a more harmonious existence. Through communication with our guidance, insights from courses and profiles and our own personal regroupings, we can trace back through time to the origins of our arrogance and disharmony.

The tools of Trance can then heal the confusion around those concepts and allow us to experience the freedom of being a new person.

It may be an unfashionable idea to accept that friction, difficulties and conflict are necessary ingredients for a life of real change and growth. Confusion wants us to avoid challenges, to stay the same, so they can continue to milk our energy, and they encourage us to believe in the fantasies of “happy ever after” and “eternally yours”. Rising divorce rates attest to a growing disenchantment with these illusions.

Life without a partner brings its own set of challenges too. Freedom from the nagging spouse may just give us licence to go back to indulging our old selfish habits, or it can give us the freedom we need to practise living a newfound version of ourself, unhindered by the expectations of those around us.

Either way, in the absence of a daily partner, we need to find an alternative way to regroup ourselves without their mirror. Whether we make that mirror our guidance, a like-minded friend or a respectful business colleague, having an outside perspective on ourselves is an essential tool for our continued growth.

When you are ready to better understand the nature of the relationships you are involved in, and indeed to understand your relationship with yourself, we strongly recommend two Living Illumination Relationships courses: #953 “Love & Relationships – Moving Beyond Traditions” and #904 “The Essence of Love & Its Traditions – The Relationships Course”  


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